DVD and HD DVD reviews

2007 hasn't exactly been a winning year for war-themed films at the box office. Across genre lines -- from 'Lions for Lambs' to 'Rendition' to 'A Mighty Heart' -- it seemed audiences just weren't in the...

By Curt Schleier

The producers of HARRY POTTER AND THE ORDER OF PHOENIX are to be congratulated on a number of significant accomplishments.  PHOENIX is the fifth film in the series and David Heyman and David Barron have managed to hold the cast together. If this were an American production, the young actors would have been hold-outs for money when they weren’t out clubbing at night, getting embarrassing pictures (or videos) posted on the web and getting arrested for drink and drugs.

The biggest scandal involving the young Harry Potter stars was when young Daniel Radcliffe appeared on stage buck naked.  That was less scandal than a matter of young Radcliffe stretching, and by stretching of course I mean stretching artistically.

Another significant accomplishment is getting some very talented (mostly British) actors to take key and often continuing roles.  Many are considered among the pantheon of the world’s finest actors, and yet they don’t give the impression that they’re slumming.  They took HARRY POTTER as seriously as they take HAMLET.

Finally, and perhaps most importantly, they resisted the temptation to make each succeeding film in the series BIGGER AND BETTER AND MORE SPECTACULAR.  They stayed true to the book.  And though they brought in different directors, each (potentially) with a vision of his own, the newcomers stayed true to and honored J. K. Rowling’s words.


PHOENIX is the darkest of the films to date.  Lord Voldemort (Ralph Finnes), he whose name should not be mentioned, is gathering the forces of evil.  In fact, the film begins with an attack on Harry in a suburban subway (or underpass to you non-Brits) and picks up speed from there.  The Order of the Phoenix, a group founded years ago to fight him, is concerned.  Many of its members, including Harry’s father, have fallen victim to Voldemort.

Although the Dark Lord is the main enemy, Harry’s problems are exacerbated by Cornelius Fudge (Robert Hardy), the minister of magic.   For strategic reasons, Fudge refuses to acknowledge that Voldemort has returned.  He plants stories in the press suggesting that Harry – the papers call him Harry Plotter --is lying.  This causes his classmates to doubt his version of the death (at the end of GOBLET OF FIRE) of Cedric Diggory.  So, in addition to the normal pains and stresses of adolescence, Potter increasingly faces his own isolation.

To make matters worse, Fudge installs an ally, Delores Umbrage (Imelda Staunton), at Hogwarts and she immediately makes changes in the curriculum that lessen Dumbledore’s (Michael Gambon) influence.  Fudge believes that Dumbledore wants his job, and this is an effort to rein him in.  But the changes at the school from practical magic to theoretical also leaves the students less prepared to fight Voldemort when he comes.

And, of course, he does come, in a climactic battle that makes it clear that the known universe is not big enough for the both him and Harry.  There’s another death, as well, leading to what will (in about two films) be a final clash between good and evil.

The film works surprisingly well on the small screen.  I wish though the DVD producers had been a little more inventive in terms of special features.  Your only choice is selected scenes.  Big deal.


A number of logical possibilities come to mind, including an interview with Rowling or perhaps screenwriter Michael Goldenberg on the difficulties of condensing a 900-plus-page book to the screen.  Or interviews with the actors.  Or any number of things just to let us know that they put as much thought into packaging the DVD as they did the film. 

Well, if not as much thought, at least some thought.

I know I'm in the minority, but as a longtime fan of director David Cronenberg ('The Fly,' 'eXistenZ'), I found his critically-acclaimed 'History of Violence' to be a poorly scripted, souless mess. Devoid...

By Sabrina Cognata

A lot of people might argue that LETHAL WEAPON is not actually a Christmas movie, but we know what I think about these people and if you’re wasting time reading this and you’re one of these people, well stop reading, duh.  This is the story of two detectives: one that is insane and the other that complains about being old a lot, Martin Riggs (Mel Gibson) and Roger Murtaugh (Danny Glover) respectively.  This is a movie written by Shane Black.  Here’s two facts about Shane Black:  he basically invented and mastered the buddy cop genre and one time I ended up at his house in the wee hours of the night and partied until either I was asked to leave or I blacked out—too bad I cannot remember how things ended.  Oh well, that’s the life of Los Angeles party monster. 

Back to LETHAL WEAPON, it’s December and Christmas is creeping up on Murtaugh and Riggs.  Also creeping up on them is the mysterious death of Murtaugh’s friend’s slut daughter.  In the beginning of the movie she’s found naked after plummeting from a balcony to her death onto a parked car below.  As Murtaugh begins to investigate her death he ends up being partnered with Riggs who has the reputation for being a psychopath.  Murtaugh decides Riggs trying to get a psycho pension, but it turns out that Riggs is actually super insane and suicidal.  He’s been having a hell of a time living since his wife died a few years earlier. 

Riggs’s suicidal tendencies come in handy while fighting crime as he could care less about living and always puts himself right in the middle of things in order to do his job.  Every time this happens Murtaugh ends the scene saying, “I’M GETTING TO OLD FOR THIS SH*T.”  I swear to you it’s more charming than it sounds.  While trying to get to the bottom of that girls untimely death the two end up discovering a heroin smuggling ring and at this point you know where things are going THE GOOD GUYS GO AFTER THE BAD GUYS, DUH.


The bad guys are basically your run of the mill bad guy typecasts except for the fact that super insane bad guy that goes head-to-head with Riggs is Mr. Joshua (Gary Busey).  His boss is Peter McAllister (Mitchell Ryan) and when Riggs and Murtaugh get too close to figuring things out McAllister has his gang of thugs, lead by Mr. Joshua kidnap Murtaugh’s super cute daughter, Rainne.  Here’s where things go sort of haywire.  McAllister captures Riggs and Murtaugh when they go after him to rescue Rainne.  He has Riggs hanging like a piece of meat in a freezer dripping wet and being electrocuted.  This is probably why Mel Gibson is a mega celebrity because he looks amazing.  Anyways, Riggs is double jointed and frees himself from bondage.  He finds Murtaugh and his daughter and frees them also. 

McAllister and Mr. Joshua chase the trio back to Murtaugh’s house, but before they can do any damage to the Murtaugh family, McAllister ends up blowing himself up along with his heroin.  At this point Mr. Joshua decides to make killing Riggs his personal problem and the two have a barehanded boxing/martial arts fight in Murtaugh’s front yard that happens to be decorated for Christmas and is on fire because of the stupid exploding car.  After Riggs beats Mr. Joshua, he and Murtaugh end up shooting Mr. Joshua to death.  Merry Christmas kids. 


Later, Riggs is accepted as an unofficial member of Murtaugh’s family and is asked to spend Christmas with them.  As his gift to Murtaugh, Riggs hands him the hollow tipped bullet he’s been planning to use to kill himself with.  Thanks to Murtaugh and his super hot daughter Riggs decides he no longer desires to kill himself.  Finally, this man has a purpose. 

By Brandon Nolta

There are lots of holiday films, good and bad, for the discerning viewer to enjoy beside a roaring fire with some eggnog this holiday season. A select few—DIE HARD, THE REF, SCROOGED, a passel of others—have been given the Critics Rant treatment, but I hadn’t seen any mention of one of my favorites, a perennial classic that I made sure to give my son this year for Christmas. I’m speaking, of course, of GREMLINS, the Steven Spielberg-produced classic of sick and twisted measure that remains the only proof that Chris Columbus was ever anything more than the Rick Astley of directors.

It’s Christmas in Kingston Falls, a little town that looks like Norman Rockwell and Frank Capra were in charge of planning. Rand Peltzer (Hoyt Axton), a local inventor of intermittent ability and thorn in the side of rich miserly crank Mrs. Deagle (Polly Holliday), is out shopping for the season. He wants the perfect gift for his son Billy (Zach Galligan), the only Peltzer holding down a real job, and he finds it in a Chinatown basement shop. But it’s not a toy; it’s a cute little fuzzy thing called a Mogwai that answers to Gizmo (voice by Howie Mandel) which looks like the mating of ET and a panda. Of course, with anything seemingly harmless and cute, there are a few rules to follow: 1) Keep it away from bright light, 2) Don’t ever get it wet, and 3) Never, ever feed it after midnight.

Since there are rules that must be followed, inevitably, the Peltzers fail to do so, and soon there’s a bunch of Mogwai. Unfortunately, the new ones aren’t of the same sweet temperament as Gizmo, and soon enough, Billy and his best friend/girlfriend Kate (Phoebe Cates), as well as their hometown of Kingston Falls, are battling a horde of malevolent little monsters. Christmas goes to hell in a hurry when the gremlins are in town, and nobody, from the evil Mrs. Deagle to hapless plow driver and town drunk Mr. Futterman (Dick Miller), is safe.


It’s no wonder this movie caused such a hue and cry when it came out in the summer of 1984. Columbus’ script displays a real streak of hard-edged mischief, best displayed in the gremlins’ violent pranks and a monologue that Kate delivers in explaining why she doesn’t like Christmas. Having Spielberg’s name on the movie is a marketing bait-and-switch; to get a grip on the film, look no further than seeing Joe Dante listed as director. Dante, the man behind the mostly great werewolf satire THE HOWLING and the zombie political broadsides of the “Homecoming” episode of MASTERS OF HORROR, has a razorblade smile sense of humor, and he takes Columbus’ script and runs with it.

A lot of people thought Dante ran a little too far; GREMLINS was one of the reasons behind the formation of the PG-13 rating, as some of the violence (involving blenders and stair lifts, among other things) was too hardcore for PG. There’s no denying this is a dark film, and though it is quite funny, many of the characters meet fates that aren’t. In fact, Dante kept things from going too far: the original script was darker yet, with a higher body count than what made it to theaters. Even now, GREMLINS might be a little strong for the very young. Still, for those of you who are tired of excessive Yuletide cheer and like your Christmas season salted with blood and black humor, GREMLINS is a pretty good Noel treat. Merry Christmas, and remember, kids, no snacks after midnight. 

By Sabrina Cognata

I haven’t seen this movie in a while, like what, since 1994 when I was 13-years-old.  And if you’re wondering what a 13-year-old is doing watching a stupid movie like this, then you have never been 13 and stuck at the movie theater without a grownup in your entire life.  So my little sister is like, “HEY, THIS MOVIE IS SILLY, REMEMBER SANTA IS ON SCOTT CALVIN’S (Tim Allen) ROOF AND FALLS OFF AND DIES!”  Oh, that’s right, Scott Calvin! How could I forget?

So Scott Calvin goes outside and finds Santa’s corpse and a note that says PUT ON THE SUIT IN CASE OF EMERGENCY and he does.  The thing he doesn’t know is once you put on the suit is that you agree to become Santa Claus.  After putting on the Santa Suit, Scott and his son Charlie (Eric Lloyd) are transported by the reindeer to finish Santa’s toy route and then back to the North Pole.  At the end of the day, the two go to bed and wake up at Scott’s house.  Scott tells Charlie not to tell anyone about what happened because it was a delusion, but Charlie goes bananas and tells everyone, namely his mother, Laura (Wendy Crewson) and her shrink boyfriend, Neil (Judge Reinhold).  Those two think that Scott is trying to feed their son some sort of insane unreality to put a wedge in the relationship between all the parents and Charlie.

Things worse as time goes on and Scott begins to fully transform into Santa with a huge gut, a white beard and the whole nine yards or rosy merriment.  Everyone, Wendy, Neil and even Charlie’s teacher thinks that Scott’s lost his mind.  Scott’s trying very hard to deny he’s transforming into Santa and the only person who believes in him is Charlie, especially when Scott doesn’t even believe himself.  Neil and Wendy even go so far as to tell Charlie there is no such thing as Santa Claus in an attempt to stop what they consider to be Scott’s brain washing.  They use this against Scott and get his visitation rights taken away.  Gosh, this is such a stupid, boring review. I am going to kill myself.


Right before the next Christmas, Charlie’s faith in Scott being Santa Claus finally kicks in as Scott himself is prepared to fulfill the responsibilities of Old Saint Nick.  Wendy and Neil still think he’s insane until he gives them the presents they always wanted as children, but never received.  Santa dad wins everyone over and delivers the presents to children all over the world all in one night just like he’s suppose to and he also regains his rights as a parent because Wendy and Neil finally believe in him and Santa.

By Faith McQuinn

Since I’m pretty sure the entire English-speaking community--and some others as well--knows the story of Charles Dickens’ A CHRISTMAS CAROL, I can skip major plotlines for SCROOGED—a modern-day adaptation of the story. But for those who may have missed the movie (God forbid), I’ll give you a quick breakdown.

Frank Cross (played by the CADDYSHACK version of Bill Murray) is the Scrooge of this story. Frank is the president of IBN television network, and he’s a complete asshole. He is the mastermind behind a Christmas Eve live production of “Scrooge” which stars Mary Lou Retton as Tiny Tim, Jamie Farr as Jacob Marley, and Buddy Hackett as Scrooge. Oh, and somehow he’s fit in the Solid Gold dancers in extremely skimpy outfits.

The Ghost of Christmas Present (David Johansen) is a cigar-smoking taxi driver that reminds Frank he’s spent his entire life plopped in front of a TV set. The Ghost of Christmas Past is the wonderful Carol Kane who’s a sadistic ghost that shows Frank the true meaning of suffering by kicking him in the balls, punching him in the face, and hitting him with a toaster.  The Ghost of Christmas Future is the hellish version of a walking television that has innards created by Jim Henson’s Workshop.

As I said before, SCROOGED is a retelling of A CHRISTMAS CAROL, and you’d think this fact would lump it in with the many variations out there. But anything that opens with an action sequence involving Santa Claus, elves, machine guns, and Lee Majors is in a class all by itself. I don’t think any other CHRISTMAS CAROL movie can be considered so demented.


Frank is nothing but crass and no one is at his mercy. On Christmas Eve, he manages to kill an 80-year-old woman with his twisted ultra-violent commercials, scare the crap out his assistant’s (Alfre Woodard) mute little boy, and insult the only true love of his life (Karen Allen).  What makes it all so wickedly fantastic to watch is Bill Murray.  Not the quiet, white-haired Bill of today. I’m talking about the angry, out-of-control, crazy man who did comedy in the eighties.

Even when Frank finally has a change of heart, Murray still approaches the newer, nicer Frank Cross with the same crazy enthusiasm. Instead of spreading the love with food and money as Dickens’ Scrooge did, Frank takes over the live airing of this darling show by getting Eliot Loudermilk (Bobcat Goldthwait) to take the control booth hostage. His speech may be heartwarming, but it still registers as a little deranged. And who doesn’t want the spirit of Christmas screamed at them across the airwaves?

The only downside is the happy-go-lucky ending. I guess you can’t have A CHRISTMAS CAROL without the miracle at the end. In the live production, Mary Lou Retton’s Tiny Tim was to throw away his crunches and do a double-tuck back flip something or another. In the actual movie, it’s Grace’s little mute son who finally utters the first words he’s said in five years, “God bless us, everyone!”


SCROOGED is also a bit dated. The hair, the costumes and the never-ending list of cameos keep SCROOGED firmly planted in the late eighties. But even with the saccharin ending and the eighties vibe, the message is very clear. People who are greedy have crappy lives and get hit with toasters. It’s a simple as that.

SCROOGED is a funny, angry, very cynical take a Christmas classic. If you like your comedy violent and over-the-top, be sure to put the kiddies to bed early and watch it again or for the first time.

By Sabrina Cognata

THE MAGNIFICENT SEVEN is considerably one of the greatest western flicks of all time.  They certainly don’t make them like this anymore.  I’m talking about both the movie and the actors. Gosh, the case of THE MAGNIFICENT SEVEN is an array of masculinity forgotten in Hollywood, traded in for the beaming femininity of current heartthrobs Jonathan Rhys Meyer, Orlando Bloom and Jude Law.  Too bad all of those guys cry a lot and worry about their fashion sense and have absolutely no idea how to be manly—maybe it’s the fact that all of them are British, but that is an argument for another day.

THE MAGNIFICENT SEVEN is the story of a small town in Mexico terrorized by Calvera (Eli Wallach) a terrible bandito and the wild pack that runs with him.  Three town members happen to view Chris (Yul Brenner) and Vin (Steve McQueen) manage a wild crowd with ease.  Chris gives hope to the town members.  They approach him and ask for his help offering him the only the only thing they have left, a golden object along with food and board.  Initially, Chris says he isn’t interested, but after listening to their situation he laments and eventually agrees to help and enlists a group of able-bodied men to help him in his quest to save this town from Calvera.

Immediately, Chris acquires the best and the brightest men in town.  He talks Vin into helping him along with Harry Luck (Brad Dexter), Bernardo O’Reilly (Charles Bronson), Lee (Robert Vaughn), and Britt (James Coburn).  While Vin assembles his team, there’s a young local boy, Chico (Horsct Buchholz) that continues to badger Vin for a place on the team.  On their way to Mexico, the group sees Chico fishing by a river and they finally ask him to join them. 


The seven venture together as a team to train the townspeople to fight against Calvera and his men.  While preparing, they relocate the women, hidden on the outskirts of town and put them to work cooking, cleaning and basically being women in a society deprived of females.  One particular girl takes a fancy to Chico and goes out of her way to persuade him into liking her.  Chico, however, is particularly enamored with the idea of being a hero and delusions of his own grandeur.  Meanwhile, Bernardo being half-Irish/half-Mexican begins to feel a particular kinship with the people and children of the town, going out of his way to take up for them and even persuades the other six men into sharing their fancy meals with everyone in camp.

My favorite character is naturally Vin.  Maybe it’s because I love Steve McQueen because he personifies sexy, cool and manly, but probably, it’s because of the cadence with which he portrays Vin.  He has down all the nuances one would assume a cowboy should have, more than just speaking, but really moving around as though riding horses on a ranch is all he ever knew.  His timing and delivery are incredible.
When Calvera finally shows up, the men are ready for battle and they drive him and his cavalry out of town.  Chico decides to infiltrate his camp and hears that Calvera’s men have not eaten in three days and plan to return with a vengeance.  Upon hearing this news from Chico, the men in town decide that fighting is useless and refuse to fight against Calvera anymore.  Once Calvera returns he makes a deal with Chris, allowing the seven hired men to leave without their guns, which will be returned to them once they reach the outskirts of town.  Chris agrees and once they leave he decides to attack Calvera on principle and in the name of freedom for all.  Harry says he doesn’t want anything to do with it, and decides to leave. 

The six return and begin attacking Calvera with the might of seven hundred men.  Harry returns and is killed along with Lee, Britt, and Bernardo.  Together the seven manage to dismantle Calvera’s army of men, even killing Calvera in the wake of the massacre and freeing the people from their impoverishment. 

By Brandon Nolta

Some sequels are inevitable, due to money or, very rarely, story requirements. In the case of THE GODFATHER, the original made such a splash that a sequel was approved before filming on the first installment wrapped. Fortunately, Mario Puzo’s novel was so rich that making a sequel made sense story-wise, and so Francis Ford Coppola and Puzo managed to do the unlikely: whip up a second installment in the Corleone saga that was just as good as the first. THE GODFATHER is one of the great films of American cinema; THE GODFATHER PART II manages to match it.

For part two, Coppola and Puzo took the story down two parallel tracks. In the track directly following THE GODFATHER, Michael Corleone (Al Pacino), having consolidated the Five Families’ power under his aegis, faces the task of expanding his reach in the late 1950s in Las Vegas and Havana while dealing with treacherous gangster Hyman Roth (legendary acting coach Lee Strasberg) and troubles within the family, particularly his shiftless brother Fredo (John Cazale). In the track that follows the original novel, viewers follow a young Vito Corleone (Robert DeNiro) from his arrival in New York in 1901 to his first days as a godfather in the 1920s to him finally attaining vengeance for the deaths of his family that got him sent out of Sicily in the first place.

Most of the surviving characters returned for the sequel, and thanks to flashbacks, even a few of the dead ones. The only one who didn’t come back was Marlon Brando, who really didn’t get along with Paramount at the time, but viewers won’t miss him. The reason for this is twofold: Pacino and DeNiro. Before they became the iconic, oft-imitated superstars of today, both men were giving naturalistic performances like the ones in this film. Pacino plays Michael as smooth and controlled, only erupting in anger once or twice during the entire film; he even keeps calm in the famous “You broke my heart” scene with Cazale in a Cuban nightclub.


DeNiro is just as cool and thoughtful, making Vito completely free of posturing or effect, and thus all the scarier in his logical application of bonhomie and violence. Filmed two years before TAXI DRIVER and the “You talkin’ to me?” attitude that has haunted him ever since, DeNiro captures the screen and completely earns the Oscar he won (Pacino was nominated but didn’t win). Of course, it’s not just DeNiro; everybody turns in great work, as demonstrated by the fact that four other cast members (Pacino, Lee Strasberg, Michael Gazzo and Talia Shire) were nominated for Oscars that year.

Much has been written about the other elements of the film: the understated score, the magnificent cinematography, even the use of color and symbols throughout the film (the most famous example being that any time you see a Corleone and an orange in the same scene, somebody’s in trouble). Let’s not belabor the point any further: THE GODFATHER PART II is indeed a masterpiece, one that manages to add to its predecessor without suffering in the process. Very few sequels can manage that, and none of them match up to the standards Coppola set with this one-two punch about the Mafia. I don’t know that I’d want to see them again, as I’m still not enchanted with Mob flicks as a rule, but I’m glad I saw them at least once.